


isn’t it strange?

by KissMeAlycia



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Dead Letters, F/M, blackinnon, hidden pregnancy, letter after death, marlene writes lily a letter telling her everything she’s been hiding for months
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-15
Updated: 2021-01-15
Packaged: 2021-03-12 18:00:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28764438
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KissMeAlycia/pseuds/KissMeAlycia
Summary: Lily is frozen when she notices an owl bordering Godric’s Hollow and she is even more frightened when the animal lands right above her face and stretches its beak to her.She picks the letter and the owl setts off. When her green eyes meet the calligraphy, her heart stops. She just knows something is wrong.[work 1/4]
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black/Marlene McKinnon
Comments: 2
Kudos: 11
Collections: the dead letters





	isn’t it strange?

**Author's Note:**

> dedicated to my beautiful friend victoria.

“ _Hey, flower girl_

_ I have no ideia how to begin saying this but this letter must have a start. First of all, if you are reading this, it means I’m dead. I don’t know if now I say that I’m sorry for saying it like this but I’m assuming you already know it. _

_Lils, I love you. And James. And Harry. And from the bottom of my heart, I hope you last much more than me. Every day, I feel like I’m closer to death. Every day I hear news and more news and it really looks like the ending is only getting closer. I’m scared for my siblings, my parents and my little nephews. Lils, you would absolutely love them. Ricky is starting to walk, he took his first steps this week. Matthew’s wife had just given birth to Andrew, a small baby boy that has his mother’s red hair and big green eyes. I thought immediately of you when my brother handed me this tiny figure of a human_.

_ It’s almost unthinkable that, if we were on another scenario, we would meet so many times to watch Harry and Ricky playing and growing up together and I don’t have words to say how much I want all of this to be over. However, things are not like we wish and I’m here for a reason. Again, I don’t know how to say it, but I do know that I have to and it indeed doesn’t get easier along the times. Lily, I wanted so bad to tell you this face to face... I’m pregnant. Now is probably the time when you hold yourself badly so you don’t pick up the phone and try to call me before realizing I’m not here anymore. _

_ You’re the first one of our friends to know and it has a reason. I know I just shouldn’t do it but it means a lot to me that I make you and James the baby’s godparents. Well, assuming you know who the father is, I couldn’t give her another pair of godparents. _

_ Please, don’t freak out or something right now. I care about your well being enough to make sure you only receive this letter after my death. As I said, the  baby girl _ _’s due date is in early September but I’m pretty sure I won’t make it there. As a truly Gryffindor, I don’t really care about dying. I’ve lived so much. I’ve been trough so much, I’ve felt so loved in this life, I’ve felt so happy, I’ve felt so lucky. To have my family and you guys. Sometimes I want to close my eyes and just wish that we meet again, all of us, somewhere else, somewhen else. Our generation was one of the good ones_.

_I didn’t think much of baby names... I just like Elle. I think she likes it. Every time I say it out loud, she doesn’t stop moving inside my bump. Merlin, my bump! Lils, I remember being mesmerized and shocked by yours but now I finally get it. It’s tiring to walk and difficult to find a way to sleep but I just wouldn’t ask for anything else_.

_It’s quite funny that I saw you yesterday and now I’m writing you a letter talking to you openly about my death. Anyways, I had to use several Disillusionment charms to hide my growth belly from everyone. If you’re asking yourself why I’m only wearing black to the Order meetings and looking like a hologram when the light glimmers at me, that’s why. I think no one took a proper look to notice and well, I’m thanking my extraordinary spell skills for that_.

_I wish you all the good things in the world and I hope you live long decades from now. Tell James I miss his jokes and his warm presence. Tell Harry his godmother loves him so much and he’s such a cute boy. And know that right now there wouldn’t be a place where I wish to stay more than laying on your lap as we used to do when we were younger. I miss being free with y’all so much it doesn’t even seem fair for something to keep us away_.

_ With love, _

_ – Marlene McKinnon. _

_P.S.: If you’re curious about how you have received this letter, I wrote it in the end of June and asked my neighbor to send this to you the moment she hears about my death. It’s a good one this girl. Anyways, for the last time... Goodbye, Lily Evans._ ”

Lily sobbed hardly as she lowered the letter, her face hidden by her hands and her cheeks full of tears.

The figure of small Harry ran to her from the corridor and she picked him up into her arms so abruptly he got even alarmed, but he just let her embrace him.

”Mama, why cry?” Harry palmed her cheek with his tiny hand as Lily’s lips shook hardly.

James was the next one who appeared there and widened his hazel eyes at her.

“Lils?”

He knew she was crying about Marlene’s death that they had known for three days now. _But he didn’t know everything_.

“She was pregnant.” Lily whispered, her voice barely being heard. “She was fucking pregnant!”

Now Harry got definitely scared with his mother yelling and threw his arms into his father’s direction, who picked him. Lily didn’t even notice while she passed their son to him.

James found the letter now resting in the library table, exactly where Lily had received it, and took it to read. His eyes ran along the whole lettering and seconds later, he looked at her. Just as broken as she was.

And they thought they had cried everything they could the past three days.

”This can’t possibly be fair.” Lily denied talking to herself. “There’s no universe where this is fair.”

James just let her talk for a moment.

He knew she was right.

”Does he know?”

Not that they were talking in codes but they just didn’t need to say names now.

”She probably sent him a letter too.”

But.

Did she really?

**Author's Note:**

> hello, i guess  
> if you’re crying, i’m crying more  
> anyways, hoping you’d enjoyed ;)  
> and remember to check the rest of the history cause this is just the part 1 of the collection


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